These 3 Words…

mom_daughter_at oddsGood Morning! I. Love. You.

These three words are often exchanged on the phone between me and my dear father. As he rises each morning I am certain that he keeps me in prayer, as he has done for many years. This is a practice I also reciprocate! Hence, God tapped me on the shoulder one day and whispered that I should text him more often to share this same greeting; but, my mother also needs to hear I.Love.You more often because she is the person I have emotionally missed for many years because of our differences and our inability to communicate with each other.

Additionally, my close friend, turned fiance who has three sons and one daughter, once told me that a little girl’s first love is her dad. This statement is so accurate, as I am told to be my father’s female version. In contrast, the same cannot be said, or isn’t regularly voiced when speaking about the relationship a daughter has with her mother. Ahem. With that said, I do speak of my mother with similar endearment because she was, and still remains my first role model, although communicating this to her is so challenging – most of my time is spent defending myself from her unconscious belief of my taking advantage of her guarded heart.

So, until she believes otherwise, I will continue to write with hopes of meeting her there! If she only knew! One day, though … One day.

Flowers and chocolate

THE GESTURE

Many years ago, in my spousal years, I once liked the smell of flowers until the liking was suppressed because none were ever bought or delivered. The constant response of ‘it is just a waste of money‘ grew convincing and was immediately replaced with thoughts associated with high-maintenance purchases that lasted a few days to only be discarded and later reflected upon. But today was a different day! My former partner did something he wanted to do that would usually be refused by me yet I did not have a say so about ‘why’ and ‘how much’ – I received flowers and chocolate at my office today and I feel great about myself. I feel loved, thought of and worthy of receiving.

I thought – why is my text chiming, one message after another? I couldn’t wrap my mind around the urgency to get a message to me, especially after what had happened last night. I was tickled, surprised and felt loved all over again. Hence, it is moments like these, i.e. unexpected surprises that changes my perspective on life and makes me feel better about my self and the challenges I have to overcome, day in and day out. So tomorrow I will pick up my flowers and chocolate from my office and enjoy the smell and taste, respectively, of each item where both were bought and sent with love, without thought of money wasted.

Feeling better,