Let your true self be seen. Enough of hiding! Allow yourself to be rejected by others who have only seen your masked self – the one that gives advice but can rarely sit in your own; the person who regularly defends her point of view yet fails to understand others; that girl who is loved because of what she offers as a cover up to what she doesn’t have.
Stop Hiding! Reveal the Mask! Liberate Yourself! And wait to see who hangs around when you do. You’ll be grateful you’ve crossed over. I’ll see you when you get here.
Life is full of colors. The unique thing about living is you have an opportunity to pick your palette. Will you select the color pink for your Monday or will the color blue be your preference for the weekday? Whatever your decision, you have a choice to paint your wall and create your picture the precise way you want to either be viewed by others, perceived by others, or true to others. I choose the latter. In fact, I rarely choose a color scheme. Instead, I go with the flow and accept whatever comes my way by endorsing a popular phrase you will always hear me say when things don’t go as planned and that is – it is what it is!
‘It is what it is’ is not a phrase more so than it is a way of life for me. I worry a lot, pray a lot, and wonder a lot. My mind is always thinking about the next best thing. Actually, I recently realized the way I think is a direct reflection of what happened to me in 2010 when I left my marriage of 16.5 years. Today I know of ways that I could have saved my marriage, but I also realize that reclaiming the core value of my role as wife and spouse had long left. Thus, nowadays my life is a cerebral exercise about how to discover ways to salvage and obtain the stability I once had that I must now restructure. And even though I know the answer to a stable life is through prayer and undoubted faith, writing about it and publicizing it for others to read will be my salvation because it is a confession of my faults.
So where do we go and how do we handle the luggage of clutter we have unloaded? The answer can be found in the same manner we unpack our clothes, one piece at a time. Expressing our inner-self is better achieved in small, regular chats when we are more in tune with our inner self, i.e. emotions so that what we feel, instead of think, can be fully expressed. Therefore, talking about an argument that happened 10 minutes ago is better resolved soon after the incident or when all parties are calm because datum is harder to retrieve days after. So, having discussions about how to resolve a negative discourse – when thoughts are recent, current and fresh – may present opportunities for better listening and communication so that honesty and transparency are the result.
My former premarital counselor talked about a process called ‘flooding’ that happens in our mind at a time when we may want to resolve differences but our convoluted thoughts forbids. A process, commonly known as information overload, could inadvertently and unnecessarily invite stress and ambiguity to a situation or relationship. Conversely, it is presumed that humans are unable to process multiple data at once, although we might refute the task of being able to. Perhaps my partner expressed it best when he said, “you cannot successfully hear and talk at the same time” because the brain is flooded with unsorted expressions without knowing what belongs where at what given time. So, the goal as speakers should be to express ourselves in a way that is easily heard and understood to avoid misunderstandings that could potentially lead to disagreements, or worse – emotional, physical or mental distance.