Hi. My name is Felita. I am a mother to a wonderful, charming, intelligent, kind-hearted, conscious, friendly, mature and witty preteen who we call Butterfly. I view myself as culturally seasoned, where I once lived in Asia as a child (Japan & the Philippines) and have traveled to Europe (France), West Africa (the Ivory Coast), North Africa (Morocco) and Canada (Toronto). I spent nearly 20 years in the DMV area (Gaithersburg MD) in my former years, however, I am now classified as a nomad who is guided by a quality education for our daughter.
I am empathetic, emotionally unbalanced at times (a Libra trait), sensitive, guarded and somewhat intimidating to approach until you learn my true personality. My second passion is writing that falls behind parenting. I’d like to think I am slow to anger, am apprehensive about drama-filled environments and will usually lend a hand to those in need unless a person betrays my trust.
Why does this site exists?
This site was coined in place of a long-awaited book on Parental Alienation (PA) that was never published because my thoughts, wounds and words are deeply embedded in the need to be recognized by my mother, who I yearn to have a healthy relationship with. You will learn about my changed mind to no longer author after 5 years.
You will further learn about how the divorce of my parents largely affected the way I view relationships and men. I was once happily married for 16.5 years until 2010 when we officially divorced because our joint life grew unhealthy. Further, I have fallen short of being a great daughter to my mother and the ideal sister to my brothers and newly-found sister, yet I have an awesome relationship with my father.
I write because I enjoy the hobby and find the exercise to be therapeutic towards my healing. My goal is to avoid repeating the same mistakes in my adult life that were made in my teenage years. When I finally accepted motherhood at age 35, I vowed to become an informed, active, involved, conscious and loving parent to my daughter. Further, I promised God to do my best to protect her emotions and heart, as I explain how my divorcing her father brings positive enlightenment in her life – which is unlike my outcome between my parents.
I firmly believe divorce can have a damaging affect – when mishandled – on the individuals involved but more so directly on the kids, if there are any. I subscribe to a philosophy most divorce women may not (not to generalize), which is the importance of speaking good about your spouse, particularly in the presence of your kids; maintaining positive thoughts about your divorce experience insomuch to take onus that you chose him/her to marry; speaking openly about your former because we must understand that our kids will never divorce their mother or father; and regularly pray for your former – if not for you, for the sake of your child.
I welcome you to do research on the term PA if you are unaware. This blog provides a layman’s version, but there are scholarly data on how the practice has torn and tears families apart, causing psychological-systemic damage to many of lives that could lead to long-lasting and mortal outcomes. Conversely, I realize that I am one person of many who knows of PA, yet I will do my part to ensure my daughter has a healthier outcome than I did when I was her age.
Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable in your company!